Moving to Sweden with older children

Now that we've been in Sweden for about 21 months, I wanted to write a blog post about moving to Sweden with older children.

Our children were almost 14 and 10 when we moved from the UK to Sweden and they had never lived anywhere else. To say that it was difficult to move, for all of us, is an understatement. Our son, who had a great group of friends in London, didn't want to move at all. He loved Sweden but couldn't understand why we would want to leave London where we had everything: friends, family (aunt, uncle, cousins), our favourite football club (Fulham FC), and a great school. Our daughter was more keen. Not because she didn't wasn't happy in London, she was very sad to leave her school, her friends and her football team behind, but, simply I think, because she was younger and hadn't formed the same attachment to London as Wilhelm had.  

What made us move, in the end, was the belief that all of us would have a better life in Sweden, for many reasons I am not going to expand on in this post. And here is how that went...

Preparing your children for a move to Sweden

About 6 months before the move, our children started having basic Swedish reading lessons with a Swedish lady (with no formal teaching qualification, I should say) who came to our home, once a week, for a shared 30 minute lesson.

After having grown up with mostly English friends, having gone to an English school, learnt how to read and write in English only, we knew that the children would be behind with regards to the Swedish language. But, to be truthful, we still didn't anticipate how long it would take for them to be on par with Swedish children in Sweden when it came to reading and writing in Swedish. Moving to Sweden with older children has that disadvantage, in that their peers are just at a whole 'nother level of proficiency, and that is hard to keep up with when you first move.  

In this is despite our children speaking better Swedish than most of their 'likes', other Swedish children in ondon who had grown up with Swedish parents. We always spoke Swedish at home, from the very start, and although mixed in with quite a few English words here and there, our children were pretty fluent in Swedish.

After 6 months of basic Swedish lessons, writing in Swedish or Swedish grammar were still something both children struggled with, and coupled with exams in their English schools, they didn't really have the time to focus too much either.

I'm still happy we had a soft start to their learning journey, as it would prove to be very steep, when they started school in Sweden.

Finding the right school for your children in Sweden

With very little knowledge about the area we were moving to, we tried to make sense of the Swedish schools here in Höllviken and Ljunghusen, and what each of them had to offer. Moving to Sweden  with older children also meant that we knew they had to get some sort of support with regards to the Swedish language at school, as we knew they would be behind their peers in Sweden.

I googled the schools, called the headmasters/misstresses and talked to each of them about support for older children moving to Sweden, and asked our future landlady about her recommendations with regards to schools. They all came back saying that support would be difficult, and that they had limited staff to help our children.

We ended up choosing the school who said they would try their best to ensure our children would get some level of support with their Swedish. The other schools told us that they wouldn't be able to offer any help to them, and that their schools were understaffed as it were. Great! ;)

21 months in, we now know they were right. There really is no help for Swedish children moving from abroad, unless you have parents from another country.  

Coming from an English school background, the Swedish system has been a big adjustment. Our children went to both English state school as well as private school, and the Swedish system felt vasty different.

Here's a breakdown of the key differences:

• Focus on Play and Equality: Swedish schools prioritise letting kids be kids. There's less emphasis on grades and homework compared to England. Everyone learns the same curriculum, although advanced students might progress faster. This approach aims to create a more equal learning environment.

• Digital Natives: Technology is heavily integrated. Children use tablets extensively for learning and homework. While this fosters digital literacy, it can come at the expense of traditional penmanship skills, as as well as focus.

• Freedom and Flexibility: Schools typically end by 2-3 pm, with minimal homework. This allows for more free time for after-school activities and family life. Additionally, Sweden has a universal free school system, ensuring equal access to education regardless of background. This contrasts with the private school system in England.

• Discipline and Support: However, the emphasis on freedom can lead to classroom management challenges. Swedish teachers might have less support in handling disruptive behavior compared to English schools. Our children found the English system, despite being stricter, to offer more structure and discipline, which they ultimately preferred. They felt they learned more and received better individual support in England.

Helping your children adjust to a new culture and language

Our son, Wilhelm, initially struggled in Swedish school. While he had access to a dictionary, his grasp of grammar and spelling lagged behind. Unfortunately, the class size and teacher workload limited the individualised support he needed. This impacted his grades significantly, leaving him discouraged by the end of Year 8.

Finding the Right Support:

Recognising the need for extra help, I sought out a private Swedish tutor. Wilhelm began weekly lessons last autumn, which have been instrumental in his progress.

Our daughter, who din't have the same pressure to 'perform' at school (e.g. no essays etc), has found it easier to learn Swedish, also most likely because she had just turned 10 when we moved.

I guess what we've learnt is that moving to Sweden with older children requires a personalised approach for each child, depending on where they are on their learning journey, and that depending on the area and schools, you don't get a whole lot of support. 

Tips for Individually Supporting Your Child:

• Prioritise Language Learning: Equipping your child with basic language skills is crucial for success in school and social integration. Explore after-school programs, online resources, or private tutors if needed.

Helping your children adjust to a new culture and language

Our son, Wilhelm, initially struggled in Swedish school. While he had access to a dictionary, his grasp of grammar and spelling lagged behind. Unfortunately, the class size and teacher workload limited the individualised support he needed. This impacted his grades significantly, leaving him discouraged by the end of Year 8.

Finding the Right Support:

Recognising the need for extra help, I sought out a private Swedish tutor. Wilhelm began weekly lessons last autumn, which have been instrumental in his progress.

Our daughter, who din't have the same pressure to 'perform' at school (e.g. no essays etc), has found it easier to learn Swedish, also most likely because she had just turned 10 when we moved.

I guess what we've learnt is that moving to Sweden with older children requires a personalised approach for each child, depending on where they are on their learning journey, and that depending on the area and schools, you don't get a whole lot of support. 

Tips for Individually Supporting Your Child:

• Prioritize Language Learning: Equipping your child with basic language skills is crucial for success in school and social integration. Explore after-school programs, online resources, or private tutors if needed.

Moving to Sweden with older children also meant making it slightly more tricky to make new friends but furthermore, to fit in at school from a different school and fashion culture. We went from a school system which favours school uniform, to an upmarket area in Sweden where everyone pretty much looks the same, where many of the children are wearing branded clothes or at least the same type of jeans, top and sneakers, just to fit in (a type of uniform, too). This was definitely a novelty for our children who had only seen their English friends in their homewear outside of school, and there was a wide range of fashion and colours at display. In the area where we live in Sweden, it's very homogenic, so no one really wants to stand out. 

Within a few weeks our son had a list of clothing he needed to buy to fit in, going from wearing mostly Urban Outfitters and Nike in London, to way more expensive clothing and shoes here in Sweden. We obviously didn't fully cater to his newfound very expensive taste, but supported both children in becoming more Swedish looking, as they both really wanted to fit in and make friends. 

Both children have always made friends easily and this was the case here too. Although it took a few months for Cornelia to find the right group of girls to hang out with, and she missed her London friends terribly at first, she is now the happiest I've ever seen her. She is thriving with a large group of friends as well as a new football team.   

Our son Wilhelm found many friends in Sweden too, but he missed his London friends more than Cornelia, and still do. He still sees his London friends as his best friends, and as a result, we've been back to London many times. He's also more of a city person than Cornelia at his age, and so finds this area, which is quite rural, to be more boring than she does. Conclusion: Embracing the adventure of moving to Sweden with older children

Tips for a Smooth Transition when moving to Sweden with older children.

As I am sure you've gathered it's been far from plain sailing for us, but if I, in conclusion, cane give you any advice, it would be:

• Learn Swedish before the move. The more Swedish your children know, the easier it will be to integrate socially and academically.
• Involve them in the planning: Let your children help research Sweden, learn the major cities and some history wouldn't hurt either.
• Focus on the positives. Highlight the exciting aspects of Swedish life - beautiful nature, unique culture, and a strong focus on freedom and etting children be children.

Here are also some resources that might be helpful when moving to Sweden with older children:

• Swedish Migration Agency: https://www.migrationsverket.se/English.html
• Moving to Sweden with Family: https://www.migrationsverket.se/English/Private-individuals/Moving-to-someone-in-Sweden/Parent-or-other-family-member.html

Remember, communication and support are key. Talk to your children openly about their concerns and help them find ways to connect with their new environment. 

Best of luck. 

Gabrielle (Scandi Minimal)