Our move back to Sweden - One and a half Year In
Can't believe we've already spent over a year in Scandinavia, and that it has been 22 full months since we left London, UK for our move back to Sweden.
Has moving back to Sweden been hard? Definitely, yes. We spent 25 years in London, which to me at least, summarises it all.
Am I glad we moved? Had you asked me a few months ago, I wouldn't have been so sure. Now, after many ups and downs, many tears and feelings of 'outsiderness', I would say yes.
The hardest part was not moving per se. It was moving to a place where we had no family or friends, in an area we barely knew. I've always had a large network and many friends, and here, I had start from scratch. At age 50, with two older children. Our move back to Sweden wasn't at all easy.
So why move in the first place?
Maybe you think it was Brexit that made us move, but not really. In short, we wanted to give our children the opportunity to be Swedish. To give them the freedom we had had, to be closer to family (they are 6 hours away now, ha ha) and to have less stress at school. I really didn't like how many people back in the UK were obsessed with their children's results from primary schools and secondary schools and who got in where and how, the stress caused and pressure children are under there is crazy to me.
I was also keen for my husband and I to reconnect to the country we had once left and were once pretty sure we would never return to. There was this feeling that I had left something behind that I should try again, to see if I liked it or not.
So, here we were, with our moving boxes, no friends, no family and in an area in Sweden we had never set foot in before apart from some trips to a small shopping mall in the area. You may know that we have a family summerhouse 20 minutes away in Falsterbo, but having spent 2 weeks here every summer with lots of other summer guests doesn't prepare you for living here all year round, when all the summer guests are gone.
Höllviken, where we now live, is a small village close to Malmö, Sweden's third largest city. We are surrounded by trees and big gardens, and a 5 minute walk to the beach. It's quite the contrast to London, and Stockholm where I grew up.
Adjusting to Life in Sweden
It's not an understatement to say that we weren't quite prepared for life back in our home country. Sweden had changed a lot in this time, and so had we.
And big changes are hard, for anyone.
It was definitely hard not knowing anyone. I do think you can live anywhere if you have some kind of community, however small it may be. Whether that is your office (colleagues), a school, a family member or just one good friend, but we didn't have anyone, not even an office to go to, as we both work from home.
In Sweden in the area we live, children walk (or mostly ride bikes) to and back from school on their own, so there was no great way to get to know people that way either.
Not to mention the Swedish culture which is very much focussed on independence, where 'alone is strong' is a mantra, and being free from one another is seen as a positive. There is a lack of community here, in my opinion, and very few opportunities to come together, that I never once experienced in London. Swedes are known for being hard to get to know and it's a country where many feel lonely (that's a whole different post so let's not get into that now).
And then there was the digitalisation of everything that we hadn't kept up to speed with, as we hadn't had the need to, and the long queues to get registered back into the 'system'.
Becoming Swedish residents again took 5 months alone, and before we had resident status we couldn’t do anything, not even get a Swedish phone number. You need 'bank-id' for everything as well (a sort of a digital ID) but you can't get this unless you have a valid Swedish residence number. I have also applied to 'Försäkringskassan', the social security office in Sweden 11 months ago, and I've just been 'accepted' into their system again.
In summary, moving here has been one of hardest experiences of my life. Even so, a year and a bit in, I am happy we did. Because when things are difficult, you grow. You grow as a person, and you grow your awareness of how you want to live your life.
How have our children adjusted to Sweden since our move back to Sweden?
It was very hard at first, leaving all and everyone they knew behind for our move back to Sweden. They missed London, their friends, our house, their football teams, their teachers and schools, the English language, the culture, yes everything and everyone. My then 10-year old daughter cried for 2 months, every evening. My son, who was 13 at the time, missed his London friends every single day. They couldn't read or write in Swedish either, and that is still something they are both working on and that the Swedish school is not catered for either (I need to write a blog about this too).
Now my daughter loves living here. She has made the best friends, has joined a football academy and adores the freedom of biking everywhere on her own. She doesn't want to move back to London at all.
My son is a little bit more hesitant still. He loves golf and tennis and can do these sports in abundance here but he is more like me, he needs a buzz and lots of people. He misses both London and Stockholm, and his friends and family there (and so do I).
How did I adjust to life in Scandinavia?
I haven't ever been this lonely before. I've actually never been lonely prior to moving here. But it's also brought about lots of growth and change for me, and all in all, that has been quite the journey, in a positive way.
I've taken care of my health better than ever before and I've embraced nature and the quiet since our move back to Sweden. I go on daily morning walks in nature to try and catch the sun rising. Would I ever have done that in London? Nope. I would have been busy taking the children to school (but I actually miss that, ha).
I have also gotten to know lots of really nice people and some have become dear friends. So, yes, there is that too and I am very grateful for my new community. Oh and then there is the city of Copenhagen that is just around the corner from (45 mins or so), which has saved me many times when I've felt that the world we live in here is too small and . I love that city! And Malmö has also been a positive surprise, it is such a lovely city that I only discovered since our move back to Sweden.
I am also involved in lots of 'projects', from being a mentor at a local high school, to being a mentor for youths in Malmö, to being a governor and class rep in my children's school. And there is more, but I'll tell you about that in a different post.
Will we stay in Sweden?
First of all, I would like to say that I am approaching life here slightly differently this year. I have started a university BA degree in neuroscience and neuropsychology. I am so excited!
I have also got involved as a mentor in an entrepreneur/business academy for teenagers from Malmö calledDrivkraft Malmö. I am so happy I got to take part in something that can make a difference to someone's life. I now mentor a group of 4 16-year old girls, and I really love my group and the many different discussions we have about life as a youth, politics, cultural differences and school. I can't wait to mentor these students whilst also meeting lots of exciting businesses in the area.
I have also started a newdigital marketing consultancy agency(calledScandi Minimal. Why change? ;) and will start marketing it as of now (November 2023).
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When it comes to continuing to live here, we are just not sure yet what the next steps are, but we will keep you posted. My goal is to make the very best out of living here and embrace our move back to Sweden, and what that has to offer rather than always think of what it doesn’t have. I’ll keep you posted ;)
Gabrielle, Scandi Minimal
