Moving to Sweden with Teenagers: A Survival Guide for Parents

So, you're contemplating a move to Sweden with older kids? After nearly two years in Sweden with our then-14 and 10-year-olds, I can tell you it's an adventure – one filled with both incredible moments and significant challenges. Leaving behind everything they knew in London – friends, family, Fulham FC (for our son!), and familiar schools – was a tough transition for all of us. But, we believed a better life awaited us here in Sweden. Here's our story, and what we learned along the way.

Prepping for the Plunge: Language and Expectations

Six months before moving, we arranged basic Swedish lessons for the kids with a local Swedish speaker. While they spoke some Swedish at home, thanks to our bilingual household, we underestimated the gap between conversational Swedish and the academic language they'd need at school.

Key Takeaway: Even with existing language skills, older children may find themselves behind their Swedish peers, particularly in reading and writing.

Actionable Tip:

• Start Early: Begin language lessons as soon as possible. Consider online platforms like Duolingo, Babbel, or iTalki for structured learning.

• Immerse yourselves: Watch Swedish movies/series on Netflix together, listen to Swedish music, and try to find local Swedish cultural events in your current area.

Navigating the Swedish School System: A Different World

Finding the right school in Höllviken and Ljunghusen felt like a minefield. We contacted headteachers, researched online, and sought advice from our future landlady. The common refrain? Limited support for newly arrived international students.

Reality Check: Don't expect extensive language support within the Swedish school system, especially if your children don't have parents from another country.

Swedish vs. English Schools: Key Differences

• Focus on Play and Equality: Less emphasis on grades, homework, and competition.

• Digital Natives: Heavy reliance on tablets and technology in the classroom.

• Freedom and Flexibility: Shorter school days and minimal homework, promoting after-school activities.

• Universal Free Education: Equal access for all, contrasting with the private school system in England.

• Discipline and Structure: The more relaxed environment can lead to classroom management challenges, especially in contrast to the stricter English system.

Our Experience: Our children missed the structure and individual support they received in their English schools.

The Friendship Factor: Fitting In and Fashion

Making friends was another hurdle. Moving to Sweden with older children is also about the subtle, unspoken rules of social acceptance. We also went from a school system which favors school uniform, to an upmarket area in Sweden where everyone pretty much looks the same, where many of the children are wearing branded clothes or at least the same type of jeans, top and sneakers, just to fit in (a type of uniform, too). This was definitely a novelty for our children who had only seen their English friends in their homewear outside of school, and there was a wide range of fashion and colours at display. In the area where we live in Sweden, it's very homogenic, so no one really wants to stand out.

Within weeks, our son had a shopping list of specific brands to "fit in." While we didn't completely overhaul their wardrobes, we recognized the importance of supporting their desire to integrate.

Tips for Easing Social Integration:

• Embrace the Culture: Encourage participation in local activities and sports.

• Open Communication: Talk to your children about their experiences and concerns.

• Support Their Interests: Help them find clubs or groups related to their hobbies.

Success Stories (and Struggles): Individual Journeys

Our daughter, Cornelia, adjusted relatively quickly, finding a close-knit group of friends and a new football team. She is now thriving with a large group of friends. Our son, Wilhelm, struggled more. The language barrier, combined with larger class sizes, impacted his grades and motivation.

The Turning Point: Private Swedish tutoring made a significant difference for Wilhelm, helping him catch up and regain confidence.

Personalized Support is Key: Recognize that each child will adapt at their own pace.

Conclusion: Embrace the Adventure

Moving to Sweden with teenagers is an adventure, not a seamless transition. There will be challenges, but also incredible opportunities for growth and new experiences.

Top Tips for a Smoother Move:

• Prioritize Language Learning: Invest in language resources before and after the move.

• Involve Them in the Planning: Research Sweden together and discuss expectations.

• Focus on the Positives: Highlight the unique aspects of Swedish life – nature, culture, and freedom.

• Check if you have to pay tax in Sweden: https://www.skatteverket.se/servicelankar/otherlanguages/engelska/individualsandemployees/livinginsweden.4.740233401183dfba3438000.html

• Contact Skatteverket: https://www.skatteverket.se/servicelankar/otherlanguages/engelska/contactus.4.12815e4f14a3a9eefd21bf.html

• Consider cost of living:https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/in/Stockholm

Helpful Resources:

• Swedish Migration Agency: https://www.migrationsverket.se/English.html

• Moving to Sweden with Family: https://www.migrationsverket.se/English/Private-individuals/Moving-to-someone-in-Sweden/Parent-or-other-family-member.html

Remember, communication and support are paramount. Talk openly, listen actively, and celebrate every milestone.

Best of luck on your Swedish adventure!

Gabrielle (Scandi Minimal)